Laundry Line Divine

Last week a friend sent me roses as a thank-you gift.
I have enjoyed these flowers in so many ways, especially the spiral forms of their centers.
And the pink.

Tonight we celebrated Passover with friends and in the R category of bliss, was my dear Ru’s chocolate and toffee smeared matzoh.
Liberation never tasted so good.

May what turns you on turn up in your day today.
Love, S

What about you? Will it take a crisis to inspire you to live an authentic life? Or are you doing it already? What inspires you to live more authentically? What impetus in your life has woken you up to the person you really are? Do you feel like you’re living your truth? Are you letting your freak flag fly? If not, what’s holding you back? What next steps could you take to being more YOU?

This writing prompt is from Lissa Rankin, MD and Sister Goddess Extraordinaire. Lissa’s blog Owning Pink is a great resource for women. And, we are both members of shewrites, a gathering place for women writers, where Lissa posed the questions you read above. What about you? Here is what I wrote. Bare naked truth.

Lissa, I love that you are asking this question just now. I read your blog on “Owning Pink” last night and fell asleep with the question of what I could ask for, what unspoken ache seeks fulfilling. Then, this morning, you appear here on shewrites to jog me another time. Thank you Sister for flying your flag so high above the chaos of mothering, work and holidays to be seen by me.

Gratitude to Owning Pink and shewrites.

I do both. Own Pink and write.

Yet, over and over again, I trip as if there are logs rolling in my path and I am not a born burler. Simple things like snow on the steps barring the way of the longed for mail man or laundry, which I love to do, pull me from my studio and all the sudden it is 5 pm and I have not taken a bath- which I started out to do at 9 am. I make lists, all very well intentioned, but, the pile that stands before me captures a few hours, then time to fetch kids, make dinner, wade through homework assistance and evening things, then, I am tired…but not tired enough to be on Facebook which led me to Owning Pink last night, which leads me here.
Right now.
And so, I guess, the next move is to gratitude because without all of that, I would not be here. Would I?

The person I really am is one who lives the lush life of a fortunate woman, whatever the conditions are- the woman I really am is happy. I am the generator of all those logs in my path- whether it is my overflowing knitting basket, emails for committees I will not sit on, phone calls, writing ideas on chits of paper strewn from apron pockets to my purse, art art art everywhere- in stages of creation, glue, sparkles and postcards just waiting for that mailman…. the work of a domestic woman, full time Mom and full time Artist- where each role shortens the hours for the other- I created this and I am grateful.

I could be without inspiration or passion.
I could be apathetic about the house, the kids, or our community.
I could be at a job where I am torn away from these rhythms, but I am not. I am here, at home, studio and kitchen, poised for the logs and the love.

My freak flag is the flag of a fortunate woman. I have chosen to be a stay at home Mom and in this role; I have unfurled the wonder of my artwork and writing. It started when I had small pockets of time to create, then spread in to everything I do. Gardening led to a backyard orchard led to preserving the harvest led to seed saving and being the volunteer garden teacher at my kids’ school.
Needlework led me to knitting and a circle I have met with weekly for 13 years and a web of community I could not otherwise have created. The journal writing I started at 14 has led me to a daily practice for 38 years and to my first book, a blog and dreams of much more. Sustaining and nurturing my inner world through yoga and relational work has led me to being a certified TriYoga teacher and a 3 time graduate of the School of the Womanly Arts and to The Seven Sacred Steps.Collaging begun in scrapbooks when I was 4 years old has led me to a passion for image and texture, a 4-year mail art collaboration and the beginnings of a career as an exhibiting artist and teacher of transformation through art.
Hunger to grow my marriage of 17 years has led to many, many wonderful days of adventure with my husband, in daily life and our morning check-ins to travels abroad alone or with the kids, swing dance classes, ice skating on black ice together in the winter wind and swimming in the Great Lakes. There are many facets of my life I have not mentioned here but I hope you see the pattern, like ripples on water, one thing leads to another and I choose to consider them blessings.

I am a fortunate woman. I have turned challenges in to gifts because of my appetite for joy. A terrifying prospect of uterine imbalance led to a hysterectomy that I called my Sacred Release. The weeks before the surgery were shifted from panic to celebration because I knew if I had to make it through, I had to lean in to the things that bring me joy- and the way through was gratitude. Same for my Mother’s dying, just 2 months gone now. Gratitude. My husband and I sat with her for her last breathes.
Gratitude. Sorrow, surely, but gratitude allowed us to celebrate her to her very last moment of life and fueled the days after as we gathered family to remember Mom.

So, in answer to your question Lissa, it is gratitude that has woken me up. The things I once thought hindered me, actually fuel me. I learned this practice first in Al-Anon, as I recovered my ability for healthy relationships with people who have alcohol issues. Then, at the School of the Womanly Arts, I learned to give thanks for every small and big thing and to party where I am. I make gratitude lists when I feel low or not enough. I write thank you notes, sincerely felt and carefully composed. I teach my kids to write them to, because I think it is important to acknowledge what we have been given. We say a grace of thanks before each meal, no matter how many eyes are rolling. We say thank you.

And, I suffer pangs of doubt, oceans of grief, tangles of sorrow that my book will never come in to being, that my kids will become slackers, or that my work will dissolve in to passing wind.

But, I go on. I am pulled by love. An insatiable appetite for beauty and joy pulls me forward. I am pulled on and out because I want to share my stories in hopes that someone else will find their candle lit and burning brightly.

Thank you for asking Lissa.
Love, Suzi

I am still digesting the magic stirred by a group of Sister Goddesses by the Sea. We know how to have fun. We know how to celebrate. And we know how to acknowledge.

I guess I have a back log of posts for you, here in my pocket…one about aprons from last week and one about Miami this week.

But today I have to offer you something, because it is one of the most glorious Spring days here, the lawnmowers are cruising the lawns of my town like a legion of Upper Peninsula mosquitoes- bloody annoying yet part of the territory called Paradise.

It’s like that to be alive. I came home from a weekend of Sisterhood, laughter, eating meals under the shade of grand tropical trees where I got shat on by a green parrot and found it hard to fit in to my apron. How do you re-enter the life of lunch boxes and laundry after all of that fun? Me? I go one little bit at a time and resist the temptation to make a long list, as my pal Benita and I are professional at- lists for all we will do between now and eternity, I will go just one little step at a time and notice the beauty around me. The beauty of one single breath breathed.

Time is both slimy and textured. It slips and catches in unpredictable ways. I desire to be caressed by the hands of time intead of strangled. Just for today, I will live through this day only and find 5 things to be absolutely joyous about.

Here they are:

1. I am so happy to be healthy and well.

2. I am so happy my family is happy, well, creative, energized and inspired.

3. I am happy to live in this beautiful land where Jack in the Pulpits and Lilacs are busy doing their spring dance.

4. I am so happy to have friends who send me mail.

5. I am so happy I took a walk while talking to my pal Jennifer, I traced the same block back and forth and kept seeing new things.

Do you realize Lena Horne died on Sunday? If you have a moment, find a recording of her singing Jim Croce’s song, “I’ve Got a Name”.

That was a theme for our weekend in Miami. That and all things Pink.

I hope you are well dear reader. I hope the buzzing and breathing business is making you happier than you ever imagined you could be on this fine spring day.

Roger leaves with Sarah on Saturday for Haiti. Send them your love.

I send you mine.

S

Come see my Art!!!!!!!! This is what is happening in my life this week and for the next 2 months. I would love for you to come to our opening, or drop by the Kitchen. Let’s make a date and we can give you a tour of the show.
You can see the slide show to the left for a peak. And follow this link to read more from BAK. www.BerkshireArtKitchen.com
XO Mwah! S